Welcome to another week of GREAT books! This is posted every Sunday by NOON!
This week has been a tough one. For the third time this year, or is it the fourth? I've honestly lost count, we lost my ex-father-in-law at only 73 years young. He will be missed GREATLY. I know he is on the 'ex' side of my family, but that doesn't matter. I have two children who have been BLESSED with two Grandparents who think the WORLD of them, and take them ANYWHERE, do ANYTHING for them. If they want to come here to my house, they bring them by! They give complete unconditional love, and even to myself, as well, STILL! I do and I don't hate to say this, but I must admit they have 'always' been supportive of me no matter what, even more so than my own parents. I'm not afraid to say that even if someone from my family were to read this, either. I will miss him dearly, and want to support my mother-in-law as MUCH as I can. We are going to meet in a while, her and my sister-in-laws this summer to get together! That, I cannot wait for!
Even if you've divorced, you still have children and that side of the family is still their family. You still need to interact with them. Not to mention the relationships I have made will everyone in the family. It is just something you cannot turn off, especially when it comes to the nieces and nephews! You CARE about them! Today, it was like old times! It was Aunt and Uncle, cousin this and that, and it felt really good to see everyone all together, and not one of them judged 'anyone'! Even my ex was great! I wish we could get along like that all the time, for the kids' sake.
I've interacted with them since I've been (no kidding here) in junior high school, okay, Middle School (get with it Mom! It's called Middle School now!) so I have known my mother-in-law that long because my ex and I were in the same grade. We went to an extremely small school where we only had 285 graduates. I've known her a LONG time! My mother-in-law worked at every school her kids went to by working in the school's office! They couldn't get away with ANYTHING! NO skipping school for them!
Her son and I were friends in High School and we hung around the same group of really good kids. We started dating when I was around twenty'ish, I can't remember now. He said he lost his nerve in High School when I had had another boyfriend I was dating. He was going to ask me to prom, but he knew I wouldn't go with him as I was dating someone else. He came home from his first year of college that summer, and being friends from Middle School and on, he started pursuing me. We really did have some great times when we were in High School! Shortly thereafter, he started pursuing me. (She always told me he liked me and wanted to see us end up together!)
My mother-in-law is doing okay, as to be expected. I also openly admit I have never thought of her as being nothing different than my mother-in-law, especially after my own mother passed away. She would go out of her way to talk to me, and I would, too. You just can't go to the switch and 'flip-it off'. Maybe you can for the spouse you are divorcing, but not for the rest of the family that has ALWAYS been there for you. I consider myself extremely lucky for the type of people they are. They are exceptional!
My father-in-law had been in a nursing home for a 'surgery gone wrong and they tried to fix it but the doctor screwed it up worse' thing for the last 2 years because he couldn't walk and continuously fell at home.
He had his knee blown out in the Vietnam War. He dove into a foxhole, and his buddy who was hiding in it just shot his gun, he was so scared. He spent the rest of his life in the Military as a Civilian as a Metalurgist - fixing airplanes for the US Air Force. (I have cookie sheets made out of airplane aluminum!) and he did the 'once a month weekend' in the Air Force Reserves. He had a 21-gun salute today as he was a career Military, not to mention all the medals he won from the war. Every war that came up we were always scared his regime would get called first because his was always called first in the past. He skirted by it, thankfully, except for a few quick but short missions.
While in the nursing home, he ended up asking, "Someone shoot me! Shoot me!", very quietly. He knew what it was like to be shot and all he wanted was to be put out of his misery. He could barely talk. He is NOT a man to complain one bit, although you could see it on his face.
They changed hospitals, did a cat-scan and found he was FULL of cancer. His pulmonary artery was being cut off by an 8cm tumor which was wrapped around it, so he could get no air, let alone the pain from it. The cancer had spread all over, liver, lungs, heart. Chemotherapy wouldn't have done a thing since it was to far spread and they put him in hospice. He passed away 48 hours later.
My question: he was around doctors ALL the time. HOW did they MISS the cancer and NOT treat it? He HAD the symptoms and DID COMPLAIN! Did the nurses NOT report his health problems to the doctors???? Instead, the nurses went in, especially that night, and said his VITALS LOOK FINE???? HOW could that be??? Here he was ASKING SOMEONE TO SHOOT HIM????? His pulse rate had to be out of this world! My sister-in-law said NO! She grabbed a gurney from the hallway and rolled him into the Emergency Room! Thank GOD for her! (The nursing home is attached to the hospital.) At least that got morphine into him! That is when they transferred him to the big hospital in Detroit. (This little hospital couldn't run a cat-scan?) BAD doctors.
I've learned over the years if you are a patient in a hospital, no matter what hospital, if you don't speak up, you are toast! NO doctor goes that extra mile and puts two and two together! NO ONE! (His knee would not heal, gee, I wonder why? The cancer!) You are your ONLY advocate, and if you don't get the answers you are looking for, you better speak up! If you still don't get answers, get online and do some research, pick another doctor, and visit them and tell them what YOU think it is! Don't be a mute little mouse! If nothing adds up in your head like it didn't in mine with what I have, CHANGE DOCTORS!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
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Enjoy the rest of your weekend! And the rest are: